For 15 years, I interviewed hundreds of entrepreneurs and their parents about their experiences growing up.
Overall, the families were very satisfied with their children’s performance. Parents report that their adult children are not only accomplished and financially successful, but also generous and kind. But looking back now, many parents tell me there are a few things they wish their children had known when they were growing up.
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These are not the same as their regrets. Still, parents tell me that with this knowledge, they might be able to focus on different things or feel less stressed about their children’s bright futures.
Here are four things they tell themselves as young parents.
1. “Don’t panic if they don’t finish college”
Most parents I spoke with believe a college degree is crucial to a successful career.
Entrepreneur Matt Mullenweg, the founder of WordPress, started the company while attending the University of Houston, but later dropped out to manage the company. Today, WordPress is only part of Automattic, a global software company led by Mullenweg.
Thomas Vu’s parents wanted him to become a doctor. Instead, Vu dropped out of UC San Diego to join Electronic Arts’ first intern class. He went on to become lead producer of League of Legends, creative director of Riot Games and executive producer of the hit Emmy-nominated show Arcane.
In hindsight, they say they didn’t need to worry so much. their children I didn’t get a degree, but it didn’t matter in the end. They pursued and achieved their dreams and their skill, dedication and belief were enough.
2. “Their enthusiasm won’t distract them—it may have a bigger impact than you think”
The parents of the famous director Jon Chu told me that he began to enjoy telling stories and making movies as early as 10 years old. They worried that his enthusiasm might distract him from his real work and responsibilities. but it’s hard to relate to Chu’s latest film, Wicked, was an international blockbuster success.
Now, they realize it was worth Chu’s 10,000 hours doing something he loved and was good at. Many parents I spoke with felt the same way. They recognize their children’s passion helped them achieve professional success, Even if their children’s lives don’t look like they imagined.
Many would-be entrepreneurs played numerous sports, but none went pro. Their parents told me they were concerned that all the time their children spent on the playground instead of in the classroom was wasted time.
Eric Ryan, founder of Method, Olly and Welly, told me that he was a terrible student but he loved sailing. There, he learned valuable skills such as resilience, perseverance, perseverance, and confidence, all of which have made him the entrepreneur he is today. His parents don’t need to worry that all his time on the water will hinder his professional success—quite the opposite.
3. “Be more open about money”
Many entrepreneurs and leaders credit their parents with teaching them the value of a dollar. So I’m surprised that many parents say they wish they could be more open about their family’s finances and make better use of it as a teaching tool.
Some parents tell me they wish they could involve their children in financial decisions, whether it’s making a budget, buying a big-ticket item like a car, or investing in the stock market. Others told me they wish their children had opened bank accounts or gotten credit cards while in high school.
For example, they want more frank discussions about leasing versus buying, the price of buying a car and the trade-offs with other things they want when shopping for a new car. they believe Teaching their children how to spend money will help them when they start a company.
4. “Celebrate their failures and successes with enthusiasm”
Many parents of highly successful adults I interviewed said they were careful to avoid scolding or punishing their children when they failed. However, many people also told me that they wished they could go further.
Parents wish they had known earlier Celebrate failure as much as success because they realize that only when you understand that failure is how you learn and grow can you take the kind of creative risks that lead to innovation—and that your failure should become your next success motivation.
They find that their children’s failures are more important to their development than easy victories.
As a young parent, I tell myself the same thing. Now, I often think of Billie Jean King’s quote and pass it on to my own adult children: “It’s not failure, it’s giving back.“
Margot Maher Bisnow is a writer, mom, and parenting expert. She has worked in government for 20 years, including as a commissioner on the Federal Trade Commission and as chief of staff to the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, and for the past 10 years she has been working with parent groups on how to develop fearless, creative, confident, resilient, and capable parents. Entrepreneurial kids, these kids are filled with joy and purpose and are “Raising Entrepreneurs: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams.” Follow her on Instagram @margotbisnow.
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