Raising children in today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world is no easy task. While many parents focus on grades and extracurricular activities, one of the most overlooked skills is emotional intelligence.
This not only causes children to behave poorly socially; It helps them grow into resilient, empathetic, and successful adults who can confidently face challenges, cultivate meaningful relationships, and live fulfilling lives.
So, what would parents doing differently raising emotionally intelligent children? after many years Research over 200 parent-child relationships — through working with my own children to develop healthy habits — I discovered seven powerful strategies these parents embraced early on.
1. They understand the power of silence
They give children space to process their feelings and trust their inner voice. When the children are unhappy, they sit quietly and comfort them silently. Embracing silence can help children better navigate and reflect on their emotions.
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2. They name emotions (mostly their own) early and often
By sharing feelings verbally—such as “I’m depressed” or “I’m happy”—they teach children emotional awareness and allow them to use words to express themselves. This helps their children see emotions as normal and share them openly rather than suppressing them.
3. They apologize to their children
They show children that mistakes are part of life and that taking responsibility is a strength. Apologizing builds trust and shows respect, making children feel valued. It also builds empathy and teaches them how to repair relationships.
4. They don’t force themselves to say “please,” “thank you,” or “sorry.”
It may sound unconventional, but they know that kindness and respect cannot be forced. Instead, they imitate these behaviors, believing that children can learn by example. If their child forgets to say thank you, parents say thank you for them and trust that the lesson will stick over time.
This takes a lot of courage! But as a parenting coach, I never tell my 6-year-old to say “please” or “thank you.” Now he always says this to himself─because he heard me say it.
5. They don’t ignore small concerns
They take their children’s concerns seriously, whether it’s a lost toy or trouble with a friend. By validating their own feelings, they show their children that emotions matter. This develops self-worth, emotional safety, and respect for their experience.
6. They don’t always provide solutions
The best way to teach decision-making is to encourage children to make their own decisions. Instead of solving the problem, they ask, “What do you think we should do?” This helps increase critical thinking, confidence, and independence.
7. They embrace boredom
They keep children bored, which helps them adjust to silence. This develops creativity, self-regulation and problem-solving skills. Their children learn to enjoy their own company and find joy in simple moments, like staring out a car window without the need for a screen.
How to develop children’s emotional intelligence
- Model the behavior you want to see: express your emotions openly, apologize when you make a mistake, and show kindness and empathy in interactions.
- Validate your child’s feelings, no matter how trivial they may seem, and give them space to process these emotions without rushing to resolve or dismiss them.
- Encourage problem solving by asking open-ended questions rather than providing all the answers.
- Allow them to experience quiet or boring moments to develop creativity and self-regulation.
Most importantly, focus on building a relationship rooted in respect and trust—because emotional intelligence starts with feeling safe, valued, and understood.
Rem Rauda is a certified conscious parenting coach, mother and founder boundary –The first and only parent-child bonding journal designed to develop children’s emotional intelligence and self-worth. She changed hundreds of families course, Counseling and tools. follow her Instagram.
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