Everyone’s life is different, but according to Pulitzer Prize-winning author and oncologist Siddhartha Mukherjee, most people still utter one of four common phrases on their deathbed.
In his speech, Mukherjee said that each sentence provided important lessons for living a fulfilling and successful life. graduation speech Last week at Penn State. “Everyone I meet in this transitional moment wants to offer four products,” he added.
These phrases are:
- I want to tell you that I love you.
- I want to tell you that I forgive you.
- Will you tell me you love me?
- Will you forgive me?
Mukherjee, author of the award-winning 2011 nonfiction book, says people who know they are dying often express some variation of one of these four themes, suggesting that they wait until it is too late to express gratitude to others or correct interpersonal relationships. Mistakes in communication.
Instead, Mukherjee explains, they hold grudges, live with unresolved guilt, or have been afraid of being vulnerable for years. Ensuing regret, stress, poor mental health, and even hormonal and immune imbalances can hinder your personal and Career growth. blog post.
“Love and forgiveness, death and transition. Waiting (to express oneself) only delays the inevitable,” Mukherjee said. Young people, he added, should “take this seriously. You live in a world where love and forgiveness become indispensable.” A meaningless, outdated world.
Coming to terms with the fact that you have wronged or harmed someone can be difficult. Social personality psychologist Richard Cowden of the Human Flourishing Project at Harvard University’s Institute for Quantitative Social Science suggests trying these four steps:
- Take responsibility for your actions.
- Allow yourself to experience negative emotions such as regret and guilt.
- Apologize sincerely and try to make amends.
- Learn from the experience and move on.
“It’s uncomfortable to admit that you’ve done something wrong, and it’s natural for people to protect themselves by denying what happened or making excuses for their behavior in order to protect their self-esteem,” Cowden said. Tell Harvard Medical School 2022. “(But) it can free you from past mistakes and help you live more fully in the here and now. If you can go through the process of forgiving yourself, you might be surprised how much better you feel.”
You can also show your appreciation for others by speaking their love words: taking your partner’s car to the car wash without them asking, or surprising your mom with flowers. Go out to dinner with friends or give someone a hug. Just say “I love you” or “I appreciate you.”
Just make sure that when you use words like “love” and “forgiveness,” you really mean those words, Mukherjee says.
“I dare you to use these words,” he said. “But not empty platitudes. Give them real meaning. Do it your way, whatever your way is.”
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