Do you smile every time you hear a specific song? These are what I like to call sparks of happiness.
Now more than ever we need them to thrive despite challenges, disruptions and overwhelming current events. Unfortunately, as I wrote in my recent book, “Spiritually Strong Leaders” Sometimes these moments are hard to come by.
The key is to bring more sparks of happiness into your life—not by chance, but by choice.
It takes mental strength and discipline to adopt perspectives and choices that bring you happiness, especially when negative emotions and thoughts hold you hostage.
The mentally strongest people rely on these five mantras that provide small bursts of energy and create sparks of happiness.
1. “It’s not what I lost, it’s what I still have.”
In times of adversity, it’s easy to focus on what has already happened. When things go wrong on a work project, you could lose time, money, or resources. Or you lose your identity when you get fired. Or you lose a party friend when your friend moves across the country.
Remember to focus on what you still have, it can have a profound impact. consciously Practicing gratitude can improve happiness, Research show.
For example, in the above situation, you might be grateful for valuable insights, more quality time to spend with your loved ones, new travel destinations, and friendships that continue to foster long-distance friendships.
2. “There is no perfect road.”
You can get stuck in a negative cycle when you second-guess the path you chose or lament that things didn’t go your way.
The truth is, there are always unexpected twists and turns. It’s easier to find happiness when you accept the imperfect path and overcome the obstacles along the way.
Think of an accomplishment or result that made you happy. You most likely went through some adversity to get there.
3. “Let nature take its course”
When you’re frustrated and someone tells you to “let it go,” it can make you even more depressed. This is also bad advice because you may not be able to ignore what happened and how it made you feel.
On the other hand, you can tell yourself: “Let nature take its course.” This means using a cognitive form acceptancewhich is a more reliable way out of the vicious cycle.
Don’t try to erase the bad event from your mind or change how you feel about it. Let it sit there. Acknowledge and accept that your emotions are legitimate reactions and focus on how to move forward in a productive way.
4. “Big picture, small steps”
When we struggle in the face of setbacks, we can lose perspective. Small challenges can suddenly seem huge.
Saying “big picture, small steps” to yourself means two things:
- It reminds you of your end goal or vision of the life you want and who you want to be. When you think about setbacks from a big-picture perspective, it shrinks.
- It can help you identify one small thing you can do to get back on the path to progress and positivity. That first action may lead to another small step of hope, which leads to the next action, and so on.
5. “Adversity creates belief, not consequences.”
Think of this as your ABC phrase, inspired by ABC model In cognitive behavioral therapy. The idea is to remind yourself that adversity does not automatically mean negative outcomes.
The ultimate outcome of adversity depends on how you face it and the beliefs you form as a result.
For example, would you believe that a bad job interview is an irreversible disaster and a clear sign that you are a failure? Or will you believe this is a learning opportunity and an obstacle you will overcome, just like you have faced in other situations in the past?
Remember: “I’ll be happy when…” is a trap
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking Happiness is a destination, if you can only make a little more money or achieve something specific, Then You will be delighted.
For example, you might tell yourself, “I’ll be happy when I finally get that promotion,” or “I’ll be even happier if I can fit into those old jeans.” At the same time, when you’re looking down and struggling , the happiness slipped away unconsciously.
Mentally strong people engage in what I call “grinding,” a practice where gratitude intersects with mindfulness. It allows you to notice and recognize your gratitude for the small positives, even in tough times.
It encourages you to draw joy from discovering and experiencing the joy of the world around you now, every day.
Scott Moats Is a popular speaker and trainer LinkedIn Learning Instructor. He is a former senior executive at Procter & Gamble, where he oversaw some of the company’s largest multi-billion dollar businesses. He is “Mentally Strong Leaders: Develop Habits of Effectively Regulating Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors“Follow him LinkedIn.
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