Psychologists say highly successful people usually have at least one characteristic in common: Their inner monologue is positive and optimistic.
This can be a key factor in success: It’s hard to achieve your goals or hit your milestones if you keep telling yourself you can’t do it.Negative self-talk may result lasting impact Research shows that, over time, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and a long-term knock on your confidence.
Psychologists and public speaking experts say successful people never say these three toxic phrases to themselves.
“I don’t deserve my success.”
More than 80% of people face imposter syndrome in their lives, research shows. This may prompt you to use phrases like “I don’t deserve success” or “I don’t deserve this,” says public speaking expert and TEDx speaker Christina Helena.
“Ask yourself: ‘Why do I think I don’t deserve to be treated this way?’ If the answer is because your goals don’t align with someone else’s blueprint for success, acknowledge the feeling and let it go,” Helena told CNBC Make It last year wrote.
“Once you identify the source of this attitude, its impact on you will lessen,” Helena adds. “Success is different for everyone. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide if you deserve the good things in life and why you work so hard.”
“I’m not as good as them”
In a world where people constantly broadcast the highlights of their lives on social media without revealing their hardships and setbacks, you may start to believe that others are better than you.
Maybe you feel like you can never live up to the standards of the people you respect and admire most. You might tell yourself, “I’m not as good as them” or “I’ll never live like them.”
“Instead of focusing on the fact that you’re not as beautiful, interesting, or innovative as someone else, “Focus on the qualities you bring to the table,” Yale lecturer Emma Seppälä wrote in Make It magazine last month. “Maybe your jokes sometimes fall flat, but you’re warm. , people feel comfortable around you. You may not speak five languages, but your Excel spreadsheet skills are unmatched.
Seppala suggests that if you need help finding what you appreciate about yourself, ask those around you to share what they appreciate most about you. This, she writes, will “increase your resilience and help you open your eyes to how much you contribute to those around you and how much they appreciate you and your strengths.”
“I won’t change, this is who I am”
If you keep telling yourself “I’m not going to change” or “This is who I am,” you’ll limit your learning, says psychologist and author Courtney Warren.
Warren suggests that the next time you receive feedback from your boss, try using this sentence: “I need to think more about what you’re saying. I want to be open to my own feedback, even if it’s hard to hear.” arrive.
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