This retirement planning gap is ‘hiding in plain sight’

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For many people, retirement planning is all about money: how to invest, how much to save, when to collect Social Security, how best to withdraw money from your account.

Financial well-being in retirement is a serious concern. about two-thirds of people Worry A recent Allianz Life poll showed more people running out of money than dying.

However, experts say there is a distinct lack of attention and focus on the social aspects of retirement.

It’s an aspect of retirement planning that’s almost “hidden in plain sight,” said Robert Waldinger, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

Waldinger is the fourth director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which began in 1938. Thousands The lives of different generations of Americans over the past 86 years.

A central, and perhaps surprising, finding: having good relationships – whether with a partner, friends, family or others – is the “strongest predictor” of a long, healthy and happy later life, higher than having a high Health factors such as blood pressure are more important.

Waldinger said money is the “obvious” focus when it comes to retirement planning.

“(But) if you want to be happy, it’s not primarily about money,” he added.

In other words: “Social connections are really good for us” and “Loneliness kills” Waldinger In his 2015 TED talk: “What is the good life?” This is one of them Most watched TED talks.

How stress affects our health

Relationships play an important role in preventing and relieving stress.

Waldinger said when a person is stressed, their body goes into fight or flight mode, triggering reactions such as an increased heart rate.

He says having someone to talk to at the end of the day, or even complain about a specific stressor, can help the body calm down and regain balance.

People who are unable to do this remain in low-level fight-or-flight mode. Waldinger said elevated levels of stress hormones such as cortisol can wreak havoc on body systems, increase inflammation and lead to health problems such as arthritis, diabetes, heart disease and weakened immune function.

Loneliness and isolation are stressors in themselves, he said.

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Impact of social disconnection on mortality just like smoking The U.S. Surgeon General said in a 2023 report on the national “epidemic” of loneliness that people smoke as many as 15 cigarettes a day.

David Sbarra, professor of psychology and director of the Social Connectedness and Health Laboratory at the University of Arizona, said stressors “damage our bodies in all kinds of ways.”

Sbarra said people also often try to regulate the negative effects of stress by drinking, smoking or taking drugs, which are other ways to adversely affect health.

In contrast, having a wider social network and more social activities delays and slowdowns Such as cognitive decline, Waldinger said. Research from Harvard University found that married people also live longer than single people – women live an average of 5 to 12 years longer and men live an average of 7 to 17 years longer.

Why retirement can be stressful

The transition to retirement “is a stressful time,” Sbarra said.

First, identity changes will bring “dramatic changes.” Retirees close one chapter of their lives and must choose the contours of the next, he said.

He added that if people don’t cope well with the transition, the stress could become chronic and physical health could suffer as a result.

Sbarra said relationships and the quality of those connections “play a key role” in helping to regulate stress. However, he said, many people can meet most of their intimacy needs at work. In this case, retirement takes away these interactions.

“Some people say, ‘It’s too late for me,'” to make new social connections, Waldinger said.

“One thing we know from our research is that it’s not too late. As people age, they make all kinds of new connections and friendships at all stages of life,” he added.

Does money have an impact on happiness in retirement?

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Experts say that to some extent, finances do affect happiness in retirement.

“You need to meet your (financial needs),” Waldinger said.

Just as a lack of strong social relationships is a cause of stress, a lack or perceived lack of financial resources is a cause of stress, said Yochai Shavit, research director of the Stanford Longevity Center.

However, if the goal in retirement is to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life, social capital is as important as financial capital, he said.

“We are very strategic when it comes to our money and retirement planning, but we may not be equally strategic when it comes to planning our social and emotional capital,” Shavit said.

3 steps to strengthen relationships

Research from Harvard University shows that it’s not just the number of social connections that matters; What matters, says Waldinger, is the quality of your intimate relationships.

For example, he said in a TED talk that living in conflict is “very harmful” to our health. For example, he said, a “high-conflict” marriage without much affection may be worse for health than divorce.

Furthermore, he told CNBC that loneliness is a subjective experience. For example, some people are introverts and may only need one or two meaningful relationships.

“You can feel lonely and be surrounded by many people, or you can not feel lonely and be a hermit in the mountains,” he said.

Waldinger says there are three steps people approaching or in retirement who want to evaluate the quality of their relationships and/or strengthen their existing connections can take.

First, ask yourself: Do I have enough people in my life that I feel connected to? Am I connecting with others the way I want to?

“It’s really about looking at yourself,” Waldinger said.

Second, evaluate whether you can improve your relationships with the people in your life that you value and enjoy spending time with. Can you do more with what you already have?

This can be anyone: perhaps a sibling, a friend, or a romantic partner. For example, you can replace screen time with time with people, liven up relationships by doing new things together, such as long walks or date nights, and connect with family members you haven’t spoken to in years. Even talking to someone on the phone, sending a text message or email can help.

“It doesn’t have to be grunt work,” Waldinger said.

Third, evaluate whether you can make new connections.

Waldinger says one of the easiest and quickest ways to do this is to do something you enjoy or care about with people you don’t know yet.

For example, he says, join a gardening club, a political movement, a church group or a movement to prevent climate change.

He adds that it’s easier to start a conversation with new people because you have this in common.

Waldinger said in his TED talk that the happiest people in retirement in the Harvard study were those who actively worked to “replace colleagues with new playmates.”

“Relationships are messy and complex, and the hard work of caring for family and friends is neither sexy nor glamorous,” he said in his TED talk. “It’s also lifelong. It never ends.”