This three-step process will help you break bad habits

Nir Eyal is the author of Hard to Distract: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life.

Contributed by Nir Eyal

we all have bad habits.

Whether it’s scrolling through social media, spending too much time on Netflix, or excessive smoking and drinking, some of these are unproductive at best, but many people still choose to indulge in them.

People tend to blame their bad habits on external factors, but the truth is, the root cause is often internal.

“It’s a question of emotion regulation,” says Neil Eyal, a behavioral design expert and author of the best-selling book Hard to Distract: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life.

According to statistics, Americans spend an average of 4 hours and 37 minutes looking at mobile screens every day. Harmony Medical IT.

The number is even higher in parts of Asia. According to statistics, by 2023, Indonesians will spend an average of 6.05 hours a day on mobile screens. politician. According to the same data set, the average screen time in Thailand is 5.64 hours and in India it is 4.77 hours.

“We did a time study on why people check their phones and found that only 10 percent of the time it was because of a ding, ding, or ring,” Eyal told CNBC Make It.

“So 90 percent of the time, it’s for other reasons — a feeling that’s really the root of everything we do — to escape discomfort.”

Ultimately, in order to break bad habits related to distraction, people need to learn how to regulate their emotions and master their internal triggers.

Here are some ways to achieve this, Eyal said.

A three-step process for breaking bad habits

Take control of yourself and don’t blame external factors
Identify internal triggers
Have a plan of attack when triggers arise

The first step, Eyal says, is recognizing that you have control over your behavior rather than blaming external factors.

“People who have an internal locus of control realize they can control what they do – we know (they) are richer, they are happier, they have more friends (and) they contribute more to their communities,” He said.

Even when we think we are seeking pleasure, we are actually driven by the desire to free ourselves from the pain of what we want—and only by understanding our pain can we begin to take control of it and find better ways to Deal with negative impulses.

Neil Eyal

Author, Undistracted: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life

Second, identify the underlying emotion or “pain” that triggered the bad habit, according to Eyal.

“Time management is pain management, money management is pain management, weight management is pain management. It’s all pain management,” Eyal said.

If a person can’t complete a task without checking their phone, it may be because they are bored or unsure. If someone keeps snacking late into the night, maybe they’ve had a stressful day. If they can’t stop browsing dating apps, they’re likely to feel lonely, Eyal said.

“Even when we think we are seeking pleasure, we are actually driven by the desire to free ourselves from the pain of what we want—and only by understanding our pain can we begin to control it and find something better. ways to deal with negative impulses,” says Eyal in his book, Hard to Distract: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life.

Finally, develop a plan of attack when emotional triggers arise.

“Identify your internal triggers and have a plan for what you will do when you feel unwell,” says Eyal. The key is to do this in advance.

Fight bad habits

Here are two methods he uses to overcome bad habits and distractions:

1. The 10-minute rule
When a trigger for a bad habit arises, Eyal tells himself, “It’s okay to give in, but not now. I just have to wait 10 minutes.”

Following this rule can help people do what is called “The urge to surf“.

Eyal says in his book that this means: “Notice these feelings and ride them like a wave—without pushing them away or acting on them.”

Whether it’s the urge to smoke or checking social media, Eyal said it can help people cope until the feeling subsides.

2. Create a spell
“This is what it feels like to get better.”

Whenever Eyal felt triggered within himself, he would repeat this phrase to himself.

Rather than immediately giving in, getting distracted, or indulging in bad habits, he allowed himself to soak in the feeling, recognize that it was difficult, and realize that the discomfort was actually a sign of growth.

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