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Gen Z is struggling to find love amid various dating challenges, largely because dating apps make them overly picky, according to a relationship therapist.
Jeff Guenther, known as “Therapy Jeff” on Instagram and TikTok, is a licensed professional counselor who works with individuals and couples by providing dating insights on both platforms. attracted millions of fans.
Guenther told CNBC Make It that Gen Z has become too picky about potential partners because dating apps can easily filter people out for superficial reasons like height or appearance. Generation Z generally refers to the generation born between 1997 and 2012.
“Sometimes we get too picky about our lists and what we want, which makes us not open to people who are a little bit different,” Gunther said. “When we use dating apps, the way we filter people is not conducive to actually finding the right person.”
He gave the example of people rejecting others on dating apps because of their height, which is not a good indicator of whether someone would be a good partner.
“A lot of people screen for men who are over 6 feet tall, but only 11 percent of men are over 6 feet tall,” he explains. “There’s a lot of ‘we have our lists, we stick to them and we won’t waver,’ which means we don’t open up to others who are really a good fit for us.”
In fact, according to US dating website The League, women will block 70% of potential dates, compared to 55% of men, because they are more likely not to want to date someone based on height or age. According to reports in January 2023, the company tracked the behavior of 80,000 users on its website in 10 cities in January 2023. economist.
As young people place high hopes on their future partners, they increasingly worry about whether they will ever find love.
A recent EduBirdie survey of 2,000 respondents revealed that a quarter of Generation Z said “not finding true love” was one of their biggest worries. 22% also said finding a life partner is one of their biggest challenges.
“Dating apps force us to prioritize things that aren’t actually important in relationships,” Gunther explains. “I think it creates this world where we feel like maybe we’re not going to work as hard in relationships because we can always go back to dating apps and swipe endlessly because it feels like we can swipe endlessly.”
“I think that makes a lot of us afraid of commitment because of it,” he added.
Additionally, Gen Z is keen on identifying the “weaknesses” of potential romantic partners – social media trends Young people described a moment when they lost attraction to someone because of a perceived flaw.
There have been over 200 million posts about this issue “nausea” On TikTok, users describe small details that intrigue them about the emojis a person uses, what they order from a menu, or the types of clothes they wear.
The illusion of choice on dating apps means Gen Z will reject people based on inconsequential details.
“There’s an addictive quality to using dating apps, so even if you leave a dating app and you’re in a satisfying relationship, there’s a feeling of wanting to start over and play the lottery again, and it feels like , you might, there’s always someone else who might be a better match,” Gunther said.
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