In August 2022, I quit my dream job. To cure my burnout and find joy outside of work, I spent a year and a half and $34,000 exploring South America and Asia.
I spent the first few months rushing through destinations on my bucket list, hiking to the snowy peaks and glacial lakes of Patagonia and bathing in the warm waters of Thailand.
But the excitement quickly wore off. I stood on the steep coastal cliffs of Jeju Island, South Korea, feeling indifferent. While roaming around Japan, I watched with envy as people used laptops at Starbucks.
I was living my dream but felt exhausted and empty. That’s when I realized I’d made a huge mistake: I’d changed my circumstances, but not my mindset.
My first mistake on vacation
It dawned on me that I was treating my sabbatical the same way I treated my career – like a Workaholic.
Back home, working tenaciously in pursuit of more success and prestige left me restless and unable to live in the present. Now I’m making the same mistake again, traveling on a carefully planned, militaristic schedule.
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I’m checking out destinations so I can wear the number of places I’ve been like a badge of honor. I thought, this way my life would be as valuable as the travel influencers I envied.
If I wanted to enjoy my vacation, I had to make some changes. Here are the three key steps I took to transform my vacation and life, and what they taught me about balancing happiness and ambition.
1. I drastically cut expenses and shift focus
As I lay in bed in Tokyo, I felt defeated, mourning my big life plan: canceling visits to all 34 countries on my bucket list during my vacation.
This way, I can get away from all the traveling, come home, and just focus on career and family planning goals.I won’t be too far behind my peers who are reaching such milestones Buy a house, have kids.
But my burnout made it clear to me that I needed to cut my vacation wish list in half to focus on quality rather than quantity. What’s the point of visiting so many places if I don’t actually like them?
I gave up my desire to tell people that I had been to over 50 countries. I accepted that I would continue to travel in the future if I wanted to, even if it meant less time to pursue career goals.
Learning how to prioritize my happiness meant giving up control and the metrics I thought defined my self-worth. I began to measure success by the moments when I felt truly alive, at peace, and connected to others, rather than by quantifiable accomplishments that might make my resume and online resume more impressive.
2. I choose to “miss” popular events
I learned to ignore FOMO and instead listen to my needs, even if it meant “missing out” on a lot of the hottest, most Instagram-worthy things.
Instead of taking the two hours to travel to the mountainous backpacker paradise of Pai, Thailand, I stayed in Chiang Mai, reading articles and watching mini-documents in charming cafes. Instead of starting my Caribbean island tour in Cartagena, Colombia, I opted to sleep in after a night of dancing with friends.
Once I started really enjoying what I was doing Put the pursuit of pleasure over a sense of obligation and do all the things that I believe will make me a more accomplished traveler or professional.
3. I gave up trying to make money by working while traveling
During the first few months of my travels, I often stayed up late developing and pitching freelance story ideas. I try desperately to stay connected to my job because so much of my self-esteem depends on my job.
But trying to multitask makes me burn out faster.
I gave up freelancing completely. Instead, I focused on delving into topics that I didn’t have the energy to study while working full-time, such as history, geopolitics, and real estate investing. For the first time in years, I feel like a curious person learning about the world rather than a worker bee defined by my productivity.
Now I meditate, journal and walk every day
Returning home to Los Angeles in late February, I sensed that the lessons I learned during my sabbatical were disappearing. Once again consumed by anxiety and workaholism, I returned to my old environment and looked for a new job.
In an effort to gradually reconnect with the person I was on vacation, I began Meditate, journal what I’m grateful for, take daily walks.
I’ve always wanted to do this, but I’d never made time for these daily exercises before because I was worried they would make me less productive. These routines now help me maintain and solidify the emotional work I’ve done on my journey.
Instead of falling into feelings of burnout or worthlessness, I embrace taking the time to think about what to do next. Even if I’m not working my dream job or traveling the world, I’m learning to cultivate a fulfilling identity and life.
Helen Zhao is a former video producer and writer for CNBC. Before joining CNBC as a news assistant, she covered residential real estate for the Los Angeles Business Journal. She is a California native and a proud USC Troy and UCLA Bruin student.
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