Over the past decade, I’ve been immersed in the science of happiness, and I’ve learned that our relationships are the most important factor in promoting our personal happiness.
While I was researching my new book,”New Happiness: Getting the Right Happiness in the Wrong World,” I’ve discovered that there are two major barriers to better relationships—and, therefore, a happier life:
- We are never taught how to have healthy and supportive relationships, but it is a skill that needs to be developed like any other
- We live in a world where it’s hard to invest the time in honing this skill and building relationships, which often ends up giving way to work and other responsibilities
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The good news is: your words have the power to make others feel seen, heard, and loved. By creating happiness for others, you will eventually experience happiness too.
Here are 10 quotes that I try to use every day to keep my relationships thriving and to put into practice what I’ve learned about happiness.
1. “How do you feel, really?”
Even in our most intimate relationships, we are often reluctant to share our true feelings, too worried about becoming a burden or burden.
Asking this question lets the person we care about know that we really want to hear about the range of emotions they are experiencing.
This also gives them the opportunity to use “labeling,” a powerful psychological tactic.The study found Put your feelings into words – Saying things like “I’m stressed out” or “I’m feeling a little down today” – can make it easier to deal with those feelings.
Stephanie Harrison of Happy New Year
2. “Can you tell me more?”
We use four types question According to researchers at Harvard University, during our conversation. By far the most powerful are the follow-up questions that dig deeper and solicit more information.
Inviting someone to explain their thoughts or feelings shows them that we really care.
3. “I’m grateful to you.”
Taking a moment to thank someone not only makes them feel good, but it helps us too. Studies have found that gratitude acts like a protective “stress buffer.”
For example, one study looked at couples facing financial hardship: Grateful couples are less affected by these challenges and feel more satisfied with their relationship.
People around you contribute to your happiness in different ways—such as colleagues at work who help with a project or friends who provide you with thoughtful advice. Make it your mission to spot their efforts and thank them.
Stephanie Harrison of Happy New Year
4. “You are great”
5. “I forgive you”
we tend to judge Mistakes made by others are much more serious than the mistakes we make ourselves, such as a spouse who forgets to do a chore, a coworker who makes a mistake on a report, or a friend who promised to call but didn’t.
Whenever possible, try to use your compassion and forgive them, recognizing that making mistakes is part of being human.
Forgiveness is about improvement mental health and Better work results.
6. “Move on”
Everyone we know is working toward goals that are important to them and faces challenges and setbacks. Our words of encouragement can inspire them to persevere.
For example, in one study, PhD supervisor writes inspiring notes Use phrases like “I want you to know that I have complete confidence in you” to their advisee. One month later, these advisees felt more positive about the relationship, more motivated to continue pursuing their research, and more interested in remaining in academia.
Stephanie Harrison of Happy New Year
7. “What do you need?”
8. “It’s okay if it feels hard.”
Our culture teaches us that pain is shameful and embarrassing. So when someone we love is suffering, we might tell them to look on the bright side and cheer up. These kind comments can make people feel very alone.
By validating how people are feeling, we can support them and help them in the moment Cultivate greater self-compassion.
9. “You are important to me”
It’s easy to take our most important relationships for granted.This is the result of something called a “phenomenon” hedonic adaptationour brains get used to the good things in life.
To combat this tendency, take a moment to imagine what your life would be like without this person. You may gain a new appreciation for their importance. Don’t forget to tell them.
Stephanie Harrison of Happy New Year
10. “I love you”
At their core, all of these sentences are different ways of expressing our love—but nothing can replace the simplest, most direct statement.
Every loving moment shared between two people makes a difference, and research shows it can enhance their relationship Welfare, relationship satisfactionand sense of meaning in life.
One last tip
You can use these same sentences about yourself, too. Just as they strengthen your relationships with others, they can also strengthen your relationship with yourself.
Stephanie Harrison Yes founder new happiness, an organization promoting a new philosophy of happiness.She is a happiness expert, speaker, designer, and author of Happinessnew happiness: The right happiness in the wrong world” Follow her Instagram, Tik Tok and LinkedIn.
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